Grandparents of America Awaken

I have written many business plans in my days, but writing one that will meet the requirements of 500 egotists, many of whom are totally clueless about business plans, would be way above my pay grade. If I were the CEO of GM here's what I would present. I would, of course, drive this into Washington.

First, thank you for allowing me to present our plan to save GM, the millions of jobs and the tax revenue to cities, states, and the Federal Government. Let me begin by acknowledging we have made many mistakes in the past 30  years at GM. This plan does not address all of them, just the most critical. Here's what we need from you to help us get back on our feet.

1. You must get the cooperation of the UAW to roll back all wages and benefits to the industry level. This will be frozen for 5 years. This is to be done for the good of the country and there is no negotiation.

2. You must get the states to eliminate laws that prevent us from reducing the numbers of dealers it takes to sell our products efficiently. We are prohibited by law from doing that now.

3. You must agree not to put new CAFE standards or carbon taxes on us until we have made GM profitable again. 

4. You must waive all rules that disqualify our foreign made, fuel efficient ,cars from coming into the US. This will buy us time and give us an opportunity to sell those cars here while we retool.

5. You must put a $3.00 per gallon gas tax in place right now. Most countries in the rest of the world did this 15 years ago. Why? This prevents the whip saw effect we've had for the past 25 years. Gas goes down, people want big cars, gas goes up, they want small cars. Our industry can't deal with these swings. 

6. You must agree to let us make the cars people want to buy, not the cars you think people might want to buy. 

7. The money Hank Paulson stole from you must begin to work if you expect us to succeed. If it was a mistake, then we can't fix that if people can't get loans to buy cars. 

8. Emission laws must be frozen until we regain profitability.

9. You will have to pay unemployment to the 15,000 deadbeats we have in the job bank until they find a job where they actually report to work. And, the legacy retirements payments. Just look at it as enhanced social security, very enhanced. A pension you really collect on, unlike social security in 10 years.  

While we have made lots of mistakes, your over regulation of our industry has been the number three reason for our failure. We are number one and the UAW is number two.

If you agree to the above, we will do the following. Go to one company that sells two brands, Chevrolet and Cadillac. We will cut employment to the bone, we will reduce our dealer group to no more than 1,200 of the very best. We will close plants and retool to build the kinds of cars we think consumers will buy with the $3.00 gas tax. We will make cars in each category that will sell in all 50 states, not unique cars for each state, so don't start by changing the rules in California like you already plan to do. 

We will change our board of directors and our top management. We will change our corporate culture. If we wipe the slate clean, we won't have people giving us reasons why we can't do things. 

We can do this. There are any number of turnaround experts in this country who have tackled challenges like this and know what to do. Our top level people will all be from this school.  

When our millionaire dealers who don't make the cut begin to lobby you, please hold tight. When the UAW says you betrayed them, please hold tight. When Henry Waxman tries to ruin our business plan, please tell Henry to chill. When people become outraged over $6.00 gasoline, tell them that's the way it is, conserve. Buy fuel efficient cars. 

Our job is relatively easy, we know how to cut costs, re tool, and market. Yours is the hard one, you have to agree to do the things on our list. If you can't do this just fold the U.S. auto industry just as you have folded the banking industry, soon the utility industry, the coal industry and all the other industries you have ruined with your meddling. 

By the way, finance our loan with the new $3.00 a gallon gas tax. And, while you are at it, try drilling and doing the other things you need to be doing or it will be $10.00 a gallon gasoline and we can't make this plan work at that level. 

Here's how it goes down. The Republicans don't bail GM out. Obama takes office.

Arnold, the Terminator, who has been lobbying to let California set a higher standard for carbon emissions than the rest of the country, gets his wish. By executive order, California is now on a stricter CO-2 standard.  Now, GM, who can't sell the fuel efficient cars they make in other parts of the world in the U.S. , can't even sell any cars in California. 

Congress bails GM out  Why? They appease two groups they owe, big time, the UAW and the environmentalists. How?

First, GM, or now EMC, or Environmental Motors Corporation, keeps everything in place with the UAW, no concessions, or only those the government covers in addition to the bail out. This pension and job bank coverage by the government costs $15 billion.  But, GM must make the cars the government demands. Cars that meet the new California standards.

But, no one wants those cars, even most people in California who keep driving their old cars, or buy better made foreign cars. Most consumers believe GM will still fail and want no part of their warranties.  . Now, the government puts incentives on those cars, big incentives. No one buys.

So far the bail out is $50 billion, up front, another $20 billion to retool. Only $15 billion to cover the pension obligations to retired GM workers.  Another $20 billion two years later to cover cash flow. A few billion for the incentives to get people to buy the cars no one wants. 

EMC goes into bankruptcy. The debts have been paid to the UAW and the Sierra Club. The losers, the American taxpayers who shelled out over $100 billion for something no one thought would work, even the people who did it. The blue collar workers who lost their jobs at GM and the hundreds of others who lost theirs because the California experiment was rolled out across the country and it cost 3,000,000 jobs in lost manufacturing. The consumer who had their utility bills go up 100% because of the carbon tax. Plus, the gasoline prices went up $3.00 a gallon due to carbon tax and windfall profits taxes that were passed through.  

The recession is a depression. No one will even be "bailed out" again in this country. The GM fiasco did it for all time.

The good news. Global warming is no longer consensus science. Hundreds of scientists have come forward and presented data to refute the theory. Consensus science is now that carbon dioxide does not contribute to global warming. Billions have been spent for nothing. All carbon taxes have been revoked. Some manufacturing is coming back to the U.S. Onerous taxes on corporations have been lifted. Card check has been revoked by the new congress. Right to work laws are now in all 50 states.

The economy is beginning to turn around. Hard core environmentalists are scarce. California, which started it all, is beginning to recover from bankruptcy. As is Michigan and New York. People are starting to move back to the blue states, these states had lost 15% of their populations. 

It's 2011 and reality has returned to America and none too soon. Obama is not running for a second term. Hillary trails Bobby Jindal in the polls by 15%, the largest margin at this point since polls were taken.    

Is it Bush? No. Obama? No. Buffet? No. Gates? Who is the most powerful man in the history of the United States? Hank Paulson. Never elected by anyone to anything. Came from Goldman where he made a bazillion dollars putting the demise of Goldman in place.

The powers to be give him $700 billion to spend as he sees fit with zero oversight. Pinch me, am I dreaming? I have kept a list of the dumbest things Bush has done as president. This was my list a couple of months ago. 1. Sending us into Iraq so he could finish Daddy's unfinished business 2. Not firing Rumsfeld until the day after the first Democratic thrashing of the Republican party at the polls. 3. Trying to lease our strategic ports to Dubai. That's a pretty impressive list, but just when you think he can't screw up any more before he rides off to Crawford, he tops it all.

How does anyone get a blank check to spend $700 billion dollars? Especially when the guy who says he has to have the money gets the money. Then after he spends $300 billion he admits he's not spending it where he said he would when he asked for it. 

Ladies and Gentlemen, the inmates are running the asylum. Paulson said he needed the money to help homeowners from defaulting on mortgages and creating a banking meltdown. The Feds would buy these distressed mortgages and sell them at auction to keep the banks from folding. The taxpayer would make money from this.  Now, he says he is really giving the money to banks to buy other banks. Whoa!

This is truly remarkable. We have given Paulson almost as much as the Iraq war has cost with zero accountability. My read on Paulson is not positive. I don't think anyone who operated in the Wall Street climate where bonus money determined actions without long-term consequences should be trusted with a million dollars, let alone $700 billion. 

And you wonder why confidence is low and approval ratings are even lower.

The president-elect and the speaker of the house are on record saying we must bail out GM. Why? First, they know they can't do otherwise and keep the labor unions on their side. It's political payback. Plain and simple. Your money means nothing. If both of them don't realize GM will still fail, shame on them and woe to us. Since they both do know, shame on them and woe to us.

But, they are big thinkers. They know GM will fail and the government will own GM. This will allow them to control the kinds of cars GM makes. If you think GM is poorly managed now, just wait until the government takes control. How do the other car companies in the U.S. compete with the Federal government? Easy. How does UPS and Fed Ex compete with the U.S. Post Office? No problem. The post office leads in number of employees shot and killed by other employees, but that's their only distinction. Of course, they lead in money lost over the past 100 years. Lead everyone except Amtrak.

So that's the big plan. Dump a few billion into GM to appease the labor unions. The government takes over when GM fails. They keep the unions and all their cost. The government decides what kinds of cars GM makes. Al Gore will be CEO. The public doesn't buy the cars. The government puts big tax incentives on the cars GM makes but not the cars the public is buying. This puts the surviving car companies in financial trouble. After 8 years and billions of dollars in losses, the new administration re-privatizes GM.

The new buyers who bought GM for a penny on the dollar, turn it around and make money. No unions, without 8 brands, and with cars the public likes produced at a cost comparable with the other non-union car companies. Cost to the public over 8 years to bail out GM $200 billion. 

No one remembers who made the decision to bail out GM in the first place. 

To All: Blue collar, poor, illegal, and unemployed citizens and (non)citizens of America:

Houston, we have a problem. It's not even January and we need to tell you some bad news. First, thanks to your votes we are in control of congress. By putting us in power, you will play a big role in what's to come. We have prioritized our agenda so you can see all the exciting plans we have. 

First, we plan to raise taxes. This will allow us to give you a tax credit. We know many of you don't pay taxes now, but this will still get you a nice check. The money will come from the very rich and from greedy corporations. If you get laid off because your company can't survive in the recession and higher taxes cause another round of expense cuts, we are truly sorry. Companies, big and small, just can't seem to learn from the government, big and small, that expense cuts just aren't done. If your 401K goes down another 30% because tax increases in a recession are a bad idea, we're sorry. We, in the new administration, plan to take over your 401K and run it for you to take this worry off your hands. Just like the social security you pay for and will never see.

Next big plan. We are going to attack global warming with a vengeance. That crap about agreeing to offshore drilling, forget it. We are even going to stop the onshore drilling in Utah. No drilling period. No nuclear period. We are going to tax big oil and use that money to create new forms of renewable energy. Now, if forecasts are correct and the crude supply goes down more in 2009 than demand does and prices go up again, no worry. The new Department of Renewable Energy headed by Al Gore will be bigger than the Department of Homeland Security by 2010. There will be lots of exciting new jobs there for you if you have a PHD. If not, we are sorry if your gasoline bills, utility bills, and heating bills double again. Suck it up, we need to do the right thing for the planet 50 years down the road. 

And, don't forget cap and trade. This will put a carbon tax on all manufacturers who emit too much carbon. You know this will add to global warming and the oceans may go up a foot in your lifetime and polar bears will surely die. Now, these  jerks who emit carbon will get the message. Of course, they will pass the cost on to the consumer. If your gasoline, utility, and heating bills go up another 50%, we are sorry. The good news is that hundreds of new jobs will be created to make offsets to these carbon taxes. In landfills where they are flaring the methane, now they will capture it. Some smuck will pay them to do that. Not your government, but your employer if you work in manufacturing. If people buy less of what your company makes because they raised the price to cover the carbon tax, you might be laid off. We are sorry about that, but you will have gotten that nice tax credit from us and your unemployment will now be paid for a longer time. You should be all right despite your outrageous energy bills.

Now here's something really good for you. If you now work for a non union company, some union thug and that guy at the shop who just got out of prison will come right to your house and sign you up to be a union supporter at the shop. If those two guys can get 51% of the shop to sign, you are now union. Your wages and benefits will be just like GM's used to be. I know, GM is out of business, but it took years. I know your boss says he will shut down before he goes union, but he's just bluffing. You will even get this opportunity if you work in non-manufacturing, like you greeters at Walmart. You can say, welcome to Walmart a union store. Everything in Walmart will have the union label. Even you. If Walmart has to raise prices because of high wages and benefits, we're sorry. Especially if they eliminate the greeter job. 

If your local bank gets bought out by Bank of America, that's a good thing. The TARP money is designed just for that. We know that local banks behaved themselves and didn't securitize mortgages and only made good loans. Now you will have big city banking right there in rural America. You will have to learn to use the ATM, since all the tellers including your wife will be laid off. She can go to work for the illegal alien who mows lawns in town since he has all the rights you have now. 

Now I know at lot of this sounds like the Democratic Party has abandoned you and all the hard working Americans like you who don't wear a tie to work. We feel your pain. It's just that we've made lots of new friends over the years and they expect things from us too. Our environmental friends are impatient. They want us to get moving on the things that will destroy manufacturing, eliminate energy, and create mass unemployment. Our union friends got up $400 million for President Obama's campaign and they want paybacks. You can see our dilemma, can't you?

We'll get back to your problems in a few years. In the meantime, you farmers, we are hanging in there with you. Farm subsidies and ethanol are top priorities. We know they increase food prices here and abroad, but someday we may need the farm vote.